Taking off

Today is the day.

I’m sitting here in Miami International Airport at this restaurant called Shula’s, about to sip on some sweet vodka club soda (single shot – tall, because as you know, sugar fuels sickness and I am NOT dealing with that mess!). I look around and see uncovered mouths, ungloved hands, and general “IDGAF” attitudes to this whole COVID-19 deal. Although, I do have to say that while trying to get through TSA, there were a lot more people than usual wearing masks and while I passed the checkout counters, there were quite a few people wearing gloves. In my head I was like, “GOOD ON YA!” I remember before COVID-19 how people would stare at me with my surgical mask. I didn’t care what they thought because I saw two people sneeze as I was getting on a plane, and on my way to my connection some guy just sneezed straight into the air. I never thanked my mom more than I did in this moment while watching that guy’s spittle disperse and riddle the air with his disgusting germs.

Yuck.

Anyway, more to the point – I am flying on American Airlines today to get to my final destination in the Virgin Islands. I can’t even believe that this is real and that this is actually happening to me. This isn’t some movie that I’m dreaming about, this isn’t some coma-induced dream (right?), and this sure doesn’t feel like I died and went to heaven. All I can say is that this all still feels surreal. As my boyfriend was driving me the two hours to get to the airport, I was taking in all of the surroundings. The highway, the palm trees, the amount of cars on the road, the couple of cars that think everything belongs to them and they zoom past everyone else weaving in and out of traffic, the birds circling something dead on the side of the road, the clouds moving, the sun shining, and that infectious smile from the amazing human being who is taking the time to drive 4 hours round trip for me. I took it all in. Once again, it didn’t seem real. As we were driving and talking, my heart seemed to tighten a little bit. “Calm down” I would tell myself, “Everything is going to be ok. This is new, this is bold, this is different from anything that you’re used to. You have worked for this. You have prepared for this. You have a home and a job and a PO Box already set up for you. You’re doing it. YOU’RE DOING IT.”

BREATHE, GIRL, BREATHE.

I open my eyes and we are still on the road. The silence is perfectly fine and comfortable, which is calming. Just looking around and silence for a little bit can actually really help the nerves. Why am I nervous? Oh no reason – I just had to up and move my life in a matter of a little less than 2 months and I have never done anything like this before. It’s fine though, I know I’m going to be ok. That’s just the nervous Curby in the back of my head that takes over from time to time. I’m about to kick butt and take some names because I am rearing to get to work and do some good. We get to the airport and the boyfriend goes in with me (mask and all!) and helps me get settled. We say our goodbyes and then I start walking to TSA, fully knowing it’s going to be a while before I get to see him (or anyone for that matter) again. But I’m so thankful for him, and for those in my life who see me – see my potential, see my gumption, see my passion. Y’all are the ones who keep me going. Thank you!!!

This is the time of my life now. I’ve worked hard to get here. Now I just need to take this responsibility and enjoy what is to come, not what may or may not happen. There are going to be plenty of challenges, especially with this COVID-19 calamity, but I’m going to work hard through this. I have plenty of lessons to learn and I honestly cannot wait.

As I sit here at Shula’s, I prepare to take the last flight I will have to take for a while. I’m preparing for the road ahead, I’m preparing for the island life, and I’m preparing for the stability that I will have for the first time in 4 years.

This time it’s about me. It’s MY time.

I got this.

-Curby